Forgiveness

Ah, forgiveness. Probably one of the hardest things in life to master. To forgive means to release someone of debt; of feelings of grief or negativity. It’s hard for me to forgive wholeheartedly at times. It’s easy for me to say “I forgive you” or “I forgive them” but not really, truly meaning it. My trust in them may lessen or I’ll be more caution in trusting someone again if they have done me wrong before and if someone does something wrong to the person I care about? Count me out, grudge for life. Sometimes bitterness tastes so good and I don’t quite understand why.

7 times 7

When thinking of forgiveness I always think of the parable of the unforgiving debtor, or servant depending on which bible version you have. The parable begins with Peter asking a simple question to Jesus, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”

Matthew 18: 23-35:

“Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. ²⁴ In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. ²⁵ He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.

²⁶ “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ ²⁷ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

²⁸ “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.

²⁹ “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. ³⁰ But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

³¹ “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. ³² Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. ³³ Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ ³⁴ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

³⁵ “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

Do I want to live a life as a prisoner and be tortured forever? Absolutely not. Will that happen because I decide to hold on to bitterness, anger and negative energy? It certainly will. I discovered something about forgiveness recently that has changed my whole perspective on the matter. When you refuse to forgive someone, whether it is a little thing or a big thing, you are allowing that person to hold a certain power over you. Not forgiving someone is hurting yourself far more than it is hurting the other person. You are sacrificing your peace of mind when you allow others to make you feel bitter and cruel and uneasy. You are giving yourself a life of torture and imprisonment whether that is your intention or not. “An entire sea of water cannot sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly the entire negativity of the world cannot put you down unless you let it get inside you.”

Hold God above all else, this will allow you the power to forgive unconditionally. Seven times. Seven times seven times. Seven times seventy-seven times, no matter how many times we fall down God and Jesus are there to pick us back up again. To show us mercy and forgive us, we have to offer the same love and kindness to others. In order to truly allow ourselves peace of mind, we must forgive others. Peace within ourselves often times have to come from a place of grace and understanding.

Colossians 3:13

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

We are reminded throughout the bible the sacrifice that God made for us to relieve us of our sins. God forgives us as many times as we need in order to have a clean heart and a clear mind. With confession and absolution, He cleanses us from all wickedness and sins we have committed to one another; including the grudges we hold. He grants us love, peace, and understanding. He is faithful in this always and this is how we should be to our brothers a sisters. By opening up to God about our sins and our feelings, it allows us to release them and be made clean.

Prayer of David: Psalm 86: 1-16

Bend down, O Lord, and hear my prayer;
    answer me, for I need your help.
² Protect me, for I am devoted to you.
    Save me, for I serve you and trust you.
    You are my God.
³ Be merciful to me, O Lord,
    for I am calling on you constantly.
⁴ Give me happiness, O Lord,
    for I give myself to you.
⁵ O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive,
    so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help.
⁶ Listen closely to my prayer, O Lord;
    hear my urgent cry.
⁷ I will call to you whenever I’m in trouble,
    and you will answer me.

⁸ No pagan god is like you, O Lord.
    None can do what you do!
⁹ All the nations you made
    will come and bow before you, Lord;
    they will praise your holy name.
¹⁰ For you are great and perform wonderful deeds.
    You alone are God.

¹¹ Teach me your ways, O Lord,
    that I may live according to your truth!
Grant me purity of heart,
    so that I may honor you.
¹² With all my heart I will praise you, O Lord my God.
    I will give glory to your name forever,
¹³ for your love for me is very great.
    You have rescued me from the depths of death.^[a]

¹⁴ O God, insolent people rise up against me;
    a violent gang is trying to kill me.
    You mean nothing to them.
¹⁵ But you, O Lord,
    are a God of compassion and mercy,
slow to get angry
    and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.
¹⁶ Look down and have mercy on me.
    Give your strength to your servant;
    save me, the son of your servant.

As I mentioned before, not forgiving others makes you feel pent-up with anger, resentment and negativity and when you feel that way it doesn’t allow you to have an open, loving heart. When you are so consumed with unforgiving emotions it doesn’t leave much room for God and the overflowing love he has to offer. He has given you the gift of love, mercy and grace so that you may also show others and show the world what it means to be loved unconditionally and relentlessly. God always forgives us and we should show the world what that means to us.

with love,

c.p