Joy

John 15: 9-11

“Remain in my love as I have remained in my father’s love… So that you will be filled with Joy… Joy will overflow!”

When I think of the word Joy, I think of happiness in it’s purest form. Immense happiness. I think of the feeling you get when you’re watching a child grow or when you are full on laughing with friends. When looking up the definition of Joy, Joy is considered great happiness. It comes from selflessness. Joy is a state of being rather than an emotion. It’s felt on a less common level.

Galatians 5:22-23

“The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things.”

This God given fruit is something that cannot be taken away by worldly things. But as the old saying goes, you reap what you sow, this is also true for those who feast on our God-given fruit. You must focus your attention on the Spirit and what it is trying to tell you. When these things get tested, you must take a moment and recognize that you are blessed with the option to to either be patient and kind and good or to be selfish, jealous and cruel. To live in joy and peace you must focus your energy on to them. This world will do what it can to drive you away from the Spirit’s power but you must stay true to yourself and what you want to preserve from this life. Crucify the bad and give your life to Jesus’ cause. WWJD? He would love first so you can have joy second.

Psalm 126: 5-6

“Those who plant in tears with harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return to harvest.”

This verse always gives me the chills. Just like in Psalm 34:18 where we are reminded that God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit; The bible reminds us time and time again that God is with us every step of the way. Through the highs and the lows. Your tears will water the seeds in which your blessings will grow from. Joy will come again because it truly never left you. The light inside you is always there, you just have to ignite it.

Philippians 4: 4-5

“Always be full of Joy in the Lord. I say it again- Rejoice!”

Whenever I think about my personal experience with joy I always think about children and being a mother. Watching my little one grow up to become so driven, so passionate, so full of light and love and excitement for life gives me that immense feeling of happiness and joy that can never be replaced or taken away. I’ve always said my sole purpose in life must have been to be her mother but she is a gift far beyond what I could’ve ever imagined. She, like so many other children, touch the lives of other people without even knowing that’s what they’re doing. They give joy and love so selflessly, it reminds me so much of Jesus and his message to all of us on what it means to have Joy in our hearts and to Rejoice and spread that joy whenever we feel it in anyway that we can. Even if it’s by buying your friend a coffee. Sharing a touching bible verse. A random act of kindness, any way that we can spread God’s love and message for joy is wonderful and should happen more often than not.

What has given you Joy today?

with love,

c.p

Identity

Have you even been in a conversation with someone and they say, “Hey, tell me your story.” I feel like we all have experienced this at least once in our lives. What they ultimately are asking is Why are you who you are? What’s your identity?”

Have you ever had a moment of self-reflection and truly thought about your identity? This is something that frequents my mind so often, almost too much if I’m being honest.

When I think about my identity I often think about my relationships with other people. (i.e. mother, sister, daughter, friend) and how I can strive to be the best of those things for other people. I don’t really think about it being who I am when I’m alone in my day to day life. And I still believe that there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s part of who I am and how I operate. Though, I feel like I need to define who I am to myself and work out ow my identity aligns with God’s call.

I recently had a conversation with someone where the topic of identity came up. They discuss how they were afraid that their past story was also going to be their future identity. I think as young adults we begin to feel the pressure of shedding the parts of our lives we no longer want to align with. Which is a really uncomfortable process because it’s hard to transition into a new version of yourself.

“Though you can’t rewrite the past, it doesn’t have to be the pen that guides your future pages.”

From Saul to Paul

We are very familiar with the Apostle Paul and all of the wonderful works he did once he met Jesus Christ but before Paul gained his new identify and was named Saul, he wasn’t the greatest of men. When Paul was Saul, life his story was that he was born as a high level Jew, destined to be trained as a leader of the Pharisees. He leaned into the identity that lead him to actually kill many Jews that began to follow the teachings of Jesus. (This story beings in Acts 9: 1-19)

After encountering Jesus, he was given a new story to write, and more importantly a new identity. The same passion that he had when he was fight against Christians was not the same passion he had as he fought for Christians. Because of Paul, the gospel of Jesus Christ spread throughput the world at exponential rates. He leaned into the belief that no matter what our past is, God makes all things work for the good of those who love him.

Romans 8:28: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.“

Through God’s love and hope.

I read this story once about a guy who had allowed addiction to consume his life to the point that he truly identified himself as an addict and said “This is who I have always been. I don’t know anything else.” He lived his life like this for a good decade until one day he realizes he didn’t was to be this person anymore. He sought out the help he needed. He sought out God. He wanted to be granted with a new identity. He bought a house and shared it with a few other recovering addicts who were on the same journey as him. Little did he know that his story would inspire so many people to do the same. People welcomed him with open arms and even encouraged him to buy more houses and use them to share his story and become who they are truly meant to be in this world. To be a guide for those who are lost and weary. To give them hope. Here we are a decade later and he has several dozen houses all over the state of California and has helped hundreds of people find refuge and purpose through the love of God.

Psalm 139: 13-14: “13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.“

I never put much thought into the word Identity. I jokingly have said that I was having an identity crisis when I thought about changing my name after marriage. Because I have always been my name and when that changes does it change me? I mean yes, I would be a wife instead of a fiancé but does anything else really change with that? Aside from that, I always considered your identity was a reflection of what other people saw you as, almost like a label. But I am learning that it is far more than just that.

I never considered someone’s identity is something that can be changed but it happens in the bible all of the time. When God decides to rewrite someone’s story he even goes to the extent of changing their name as we saw with Saul/Paul. But it can also be rewritten in your acts and how you choose to live our your purpose. Some people may think that it is dangerous to connect our identities to a story about our lives that are negative but I feel like it’s a beautiful way to connect with those in need. Sometimes it takes people to see that positive outcomes are possible to allow hope to grow within them.

In your life, whether it’s things you’ve done or things that have been done to you,. your story is not over and your identity is not done being formed. God intends for good in your life. He created you with purpose and on purpose! He can use your life’s story to impact the world.

What are ways that we can allow God to begin rewriting our stories and transforming our identity?

with love,

c.p

Purpose

I have been trying to decide how to start this blog post. I have been articulating different words and phrases in my mind to make this sound just right. There are sometimes though where the best way to tell a story is to just flat out say it and hope that whoever is reading or listening takes it the way that you intended.

Ever since I was a little girl I have been told that I was “wise beyond my years” I never quite knew what they meant by that. These words were told to me by very influential people in my life. My parents, grandparents, preachers and people of my church. I very heavily remember this happening when I was in middle school. Middle school was a weird time for everyone. It’s a very important time for us as far as character development goes. This is important because I very vividly remember feeling so purpose driven. I was so focused on finding my purpose and I re-visited this feeling when I read a couple of my old notebooks from my younger years. Was this the characteristic that set me apart from my peers?

I remember always being the sensitive one. The one who cried a lot and felt too deeply and gave too much. I was also always considered the friendly one. The one who always understood and made an effort to be that friend. That friend who always listened. That friend who was always there. The one who was the friend that she always needed.

I do believe that I had a deeper feel for life. A deeper love.

My purpose finally felt full in the tenth year of school. The year that I became a mother. I truly believe that there are all different ways that we are called in life. I was sixteen years old and I felt the most vulnerable I ever have in my entire life.

Seriously, I felt emotionally and physically drained from day to day. I was a high school dual athlete and involved in as many clubs as my schedule allowed not to mention that I did my hardest to be as involved in my church as possible. I did this all while carrying a baby I didn’t know was about to be born. Don’t worry.. This isn’t a virgin Mary story. At least God told her what was coming to her, I was blindsided.

My story is a basic one. I was in love with a guy that I thought could love me back but he just couldn’t do it in the way that I needed him to. I was way too much for him. But the love for that child came running through my veins as soon as the numbness of shock rolled off. Due to my situation post-birth the mention of adoption came up. It would be an ideal situation. I didn’t know I was pregnant. I held no bond to the child I bared. Giving a baby up for adoption is a wonderful thing. It can become such a selfless act if you allow it, if you have a loving, willing family on your side. I truly believe that there are some people called to be God’s vessel of the gift of life to those who cannot bare on their own. On the other hand, there are some people who are called to be parents even in the less-than-perfect situation. Even when the miracle of birth comes falling in your lap and you become a mother overnight. I am that people. Seeing her I felt all the overwhelming deep love that I felt over the years, I felt my purpose finally feel whole.

Remember me telling you that my purpose obsession happened in middle school? Guess when I met my daughter’s father.

I fell like there are some people who come into your life to leave and that’s okay. Sometimes they leave something behind that means far more than their presence ever could.

I have these coincidence’s happen often in life. That was just a major example. Sometimes God speaks to me with ideas. With words that I have to write down. With responses to a friend in need. Sometimes though it’s just repeating thoughts that I don’t always act on.

There was a time period where I put going to church on the back-burner. I adore my church very much. There is something about its core that makes me feel so much at home. It’s such a comforting feeling from the people there to the building itself. There was a Sunday were I just decided it needed to become more of a priority. I started going more and attending the adult Sunday School class and going to the events and you would have thought I would have never left the way that people made me feel. There are times where the would get people from the congregation to volunteer to read the readings for the day and most of the time it was the same people-probably the people that they know would say yes. But that made me think about my desire to do more in the church and to get myself more involved. That thought ket replaying in my mind and even though I knew it was as simple as telling my rector what I wanted to do, I just never said anything about it.

With that being said, a couple of months later I was at Christmas with my family when my aunt pulled me aside and asked the the golden question “I’m coming off the vestry this year and I need someone to take my place. Not only were you on the top of my list but your name was on top of each person who was delegated to pick the next nominees. when I tell you God speaks.. He speaks. I of course accepted the offer and I was super stoked about it.

(for those of you who may not know a vestry is a meeting of parishioners, originally in a vestry, for the conduct of parochial business. mainly known to be in the episcopal church. )

So this is it. This is what this whole blog is going to be about. My callings. My thoughts and understandings.

Thank you,

calling c.p.